Easiest Hello And Hardest Goodbye

Hello my best friends,

This one could be considered super cheesy, and do you know what it will be, I can guarantee it! But as times are about to change and you guys, my best friends, are moving on to great things I thought I needed to shout it out how amazing I think you all are! Already getting super cheesy, please excuse me! You are probably all super excited and at the same time incredibly scared but I know you are all going to be amazing, I would bet on! Whatever you are going to do I know and trust that you will shine, you are all stars, and do not let a single small-minded person let you believe anything different. Do not be discouraged by those who want to lead you away from what matters most to you, make your family and your friends proud but most importantly make yourself proud. Pat yourself on the back every time you do something amazing no matter how big or small, every breathe is a miracle, ever step on the road to the future is a winner. Is it possible this could get any cheesier? I have known some of you for eighteen years and I have known some of you for much less but all of you equally are important. When you go away do not let a single inch of doubt hold you back, easier said than done and I definitely need to practice this myself, but be a diamond amongst rocks. Beauty lies in your smile and your willingness to help others and be success! 

I will love you and I will miss you, but do not let home keep you from achieving your potential, you are going to fly! But remember that whatever happens the people back at home are here for you! It almost killed me when one of my friends told me that she was worried that we would forget her and move on in life without her, but my response is simple; I could never, no matter how far you all are you will always be here with us. 

Be the person you want to be, not who others tell you to be. Be a model to others and do not let their envy get in the way!

I will, without a doubt, shed many a tear over the next few weeks but not only is it a tear that I’m going to miss you, it is actually a tear of how proud I am of you! 

Be the best version of yourself! 

And one last extremely cheesy finish (I am sorry),

You are my easiest hello and definitely my hardest goodbye

Lots of love
Amelia-Jane ❤ 

It Is All A Little Much 

Hello long time no speak,
I’m currently writing this at 10.00pm lying in bed. Anxiety. Worry. Fear. Three words that haunt us all. Now, I wouldn’t consider myself to be totally and utterly depressed at all, not by a long stretch! I have many a good hour especially when I am up and about and busy with life, but when I have time to think, boom!, there is that horrible feeling deep inside me. It’s almost like, oh its hard to describe, a feeling of guilt, fear and panic all mixed in to one to create a massive messy concoction. I would not say it takes over my life but it has a firm grip on it, and no matter how many times I tell myself to stop being stupid or it will be okay never helps. Point one: fear and anxiety are never stupid, if it scares you then that is just your little foible and that is okay. But the main thing to remember is you got this! Easier said than done, but the fact that you have got this far in life means that every time this has happened you have got through it, and guess what, that scary voice inside you is going to be defeated once again by your very own self. 

Point two don’t hide it! That’s definitely something that I have done. It eats away at you, it is horrendous! But just by telling at least one person you trust makes all the difference, even if you do not want to talk to them about it just telling them takes a heavy weight off you. But talk to people, tell them how you feel, describe that deep fear, that pit of anxiety, that voice that tells you horrible things. Nothing about how you feel is wrong or crazy it is just you, but you do not have to have that fear! It is not easy, trust me, no matter how many times I tell people, tell myself that I’ll be okay and pray, I still get attacked by that monster but it is getting better. Take small steps, I do not mean literally walking obviously, trust that whatever happens you are breathing and people love you. Anxiety is not something that you can click your fingers and is gone in a mere instance, it takes time to get back to that self belief and trust. For me it feels like I am on a balance that could tip either way at any minute, ey forget that any second, like the flick of a switch but it is about finding the things that tip the balance to the good. Do not feed the monster and let it weigh you down, starve him of your fear and it will soon die. Remove yourself from a situation that makes you feel anxious, not in defeat but in the knowledge that you will not be scared and come back to it when you are ready to go full throttle into it with no fear! For example, yesterday I was sat on my own upstairs and it hit me as hard a gale force winds so I simply brought myself down to the kitchen were my family where and instantly I felt a bit better, it was still there but not half as much: me-1, anxiety monster-nil! It is about the little victories! 

Now anxiety is often not something you can always see in people, I bet you most people I meet would not have a clue that I had millions of fears inside me! I like to think I come across as a carefree person that loves every second of life! And to be honest that is me, but there is often something more beneath the surface of us all! Remember everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Basically what I am trying to rely to you is don’t judge people by how they appear, be sensitive to people, care for them even if you don’t have a single clue what they are going through because I am very sure they will be eternally grateful for your kindness. 

My main piece of advice would be find the things that make you feel happy! I would say listening to Christmas music in September is okay if it makes you feel good! Another would be to sleep! Anxiety often hits the hardest when we are exhausted. Breathe, tell yourself it will all be okay, listen to every breath, you are alive, it is wonderful! Drink water, cleanse your body, be kind to it! But still eat what you enjoy, chocolate and cake that is okay! If you believe you can, guess what… You will! 

Kick that monster in the butt because you have got this! I am writing this to prove to myself that I can do this and also to you my darling! Start today, love yourself. Again, easier said than done, I am always comparing myself to others; oh she is thinner, she is more beautiful, boys will not like me because I have dark hairs on my arms and I do not have a toned body but you gotta be yourself! Eh why? BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO WIN AT LIFE AND I KNOW IT! It will not become easy in a second or a week or maybe even a year but keep trying because one day you will make it through the storm! 

Lots of love 
Amelia-Jane