A Letter To My 14 Year Old Self

Hello beautiful, yes you can call yourself that. It is not because you are vain, still you are far from that but everyday, some days with set backs, you are learning that God made you in his image and no matter what people say and most importantly the pressure you put on yourself does not define you. One of the things that I have learnt in the past 5 years is that your appearance does not make you who you are. The things that do hold so much more value than that are; your mindset, your happiness, your dreams. These are the things that matter most! 
If you believe that you will do it you will. Nobody, not even yourself, can tell you that you are not worth it. God is the one that tells you who you can be. He has set out a beautiful life for us. But we must remember that beautiful does not always mean perfect, it will have its ups and downs, and honestly to get here, 5 years later, you will go through a whirlwind of things: happiness and pain; joy and anxiety. But you are still here, despite living through a still manic journey, things start to look bright and while some days feel haunted, others feel like sunshine. But God has a hand on it, so powerful and full of grace that you will never be defeated. You will make it, 5 years later you will still be telling yourself this. But every time you tell yourself it you will make a step a little closer to your dreams. 
Yours Sincerely,
19 year old me xoxo
[Written for English major specialism writing journal]


No Words

I am in utter shock, I am devastated. Honestly I am struggling to put it into words. Despite this world being so beautiful it is also so broken. These terrorist attacks cause so much pain, they break lives, but we will not be defeated. As a world, as people, we stand together in times like these. Terrorists may come strong but we come out stronger. We glue pieces back together, we mourn, we help, we survive, we care. Unlike the terrorists, who supposedly believe what they do is “right”, just to clarify it is a load of rubbish, no one, no religion EVER tells you to kill others. These people need to take a long hard look at themselves and actually realise the stupid thing they are doing. A young child would understand that hurting people is wrong, so why can not you. Have these people actually lost their minds. It makes me so angry, like so much, I can not even put it into words. These people need to grow up and realise that no matter what they do, this world will stand against them. I tell you we are strong, stronger than ever. What I will say to you is even though it is hard, I get that, do not let these terrorist stop you from living your life. Live life to the full, enjoy ever single moment. These people are nothing but cowards, I actually feel sorry for them that they have been brainwashed into thinking like this and I pray they may be saved. We are world renowned for strength and determination. Do not let them win. They will not win. Stand together and we will overcome. With God anything is possible, He is strong, He is the strongest. Bless this world, may be remember to see the beauty! 

Let Your Smile Change The World, But Do Not Let The World Change Your Smile

I constantly find myself complaining about things that make me sad, or anxious or whatever and I look past all the good stuff. I forget to remember the things that actually are good, and that is not a good thing (I am aware I used ‘good’ far too much in that sentence). I know that I am not on my own and I can pretty much guarantee that every person at some point or another has thought the same thing. The conversation I have with myself, yes everyone talks to themselves, always goes the same way and I always come out of the complaining conversation thinking to myself, ‘Why once again, am I letting the chaos of this world, change me?’. No matter how much bad and tough stuff is going on in your life; exams, relationships, loss, you name it, nothing is worth your sadness. In the end life is a beautiful mess and things will go wrong and fall apart but also things will go right and fall together. It will not stay bad for long, there is always the opposite… something bad happens and something good will come from it. Although it is tough, you have to try your best to not let the world make you upset.

Smile in the face of the bad and remember that it will get better. Be the reason someone else smiles. Your happiness might make someone else’s day, your smile is contagious. It is better to be the person who smiled at someone and did not get a smile back, than to be the person that did not smile at all. You can make a change through positivity… the most powerful change yet.

‘Let your smile change the world, but do not let the world change your smile’

Lots of love

Amelia-Jane ❤

Stop Being Afraid Of What Could Go Wrong And Think What Could Go Right

Admit it, we are all afraid of failure and we are all scared of things that could go wrong. We want to sweep through life without any difficulties but reality is that is not going to happen. So this past week I have been trying to write an important assignment which really has tested my knowledge and it definitely has tested my patience. With a very tight schedule and the submission date looming I was definitely telling myself I could not do it, I would never get it done, the list goes on… At no point was the list positive, all I could think about was everything that could go wrong. But I finished it! I know that I am not alone. We all seem to think negatively about what could happen; what if this? what if that?… what if, what if, what if. If we live life by always thinking what if then trust me, you will not get anywhere. Ask yourself what the worst is that can happen and I can promise you that the vast majority of the time your answer will make you realise that it will all be okay.

Before you think what can go wrong think about what could right. You are not a failure and it will be amazing. You are the one who has to make it amazing, wake up and believe that it will be okay. Be optimistic, be the sun in the storm…  Be proud of yourself and know that in the end it will all be beautiful.

It is not going to be easy to choose to look for the things that may be good about your situation, sometimes our vision is blurred but you have to do it… You can do it…

Much love

Amelia-Jane ❤


When You Feel Like Quitting Think About Why You Started


It has been a while… now you either clicked onto this because you feel like quitting or because you have read my blog before, but either way the vast majority of us probably often feel like quitting. Times get tough, and life can be pretty much awful at times. Sometimes it often feels like you will not escape. Recently, I have felt like quitting a few different things that make my life unhappy and while that sometimes is the only way to make you happy often it is not. A rough chapter does not mean a rough life. Coming through the hard times make us proud, stronger and all round better people. 

Currently, you may be in a job you hate, the people around you make you unhappy, education may make almost every millisecond of your life an utter misery (me!) or you may have no idea whatsoever is making you feel down. In these times it is often extremely difficult to look past why on earth you thought it would be a good idea to go down this path. What if I had done this? What if I had done that? Would I be happy? The short answer: probably no. And the long answer: probably nooooooo. All paths in life will take us through a nice tarmacked bit and also a rough, pothole, broken bit… Each path will take its toll; happiness, anxiety, depression, excitement, fear, you name it. But when there does not seem to be even one little tiny spark of joy left, remember initially why you started on that journey in your life. For me, I currently very much have the constant struggle of motivation to go to uni. In all honesty I pretty much do not like it. The uni is lovely, the people there are awesome but my happiness… usually no where to be seen. And while often I feel like I can not do it anymore I ask myself “okay Amelia, why did you start?” My answer: Because I want to be an influencer in little lives, I want to make a positive impact. And okay life is pretty much me crawling through a storm at this current moment but when the sun rises in a couple of years I will be glad I did not quit. Quitting prevents you from succeeding. 

So ask yourself before you give up… “Why did you start?” And remember that no storm lasts forever. One day the sun will rise and you will be glad that you did not quit and just give up. It takes a strong person to say “today might not be my day, but tomorrow will be”. 

Much love

Amelia-Jane ❤

Stand Against Bullying!


I am writing this after watching a heart-breaking video on social media… In all honesty it truly hit a nerve. A young girl of age 14, took her life because of the effects of social media, such an innocent life. I almost find it hard to comprehend how this can happen, it is horrible and something that needs to be talked about a lot more. People clearly do not realise how their words can instil pain in someone, a person who does not deserve this pain, no one deserves to feel like this. How can people of this world think that they have the authority to use social media in a way that destroys someone. When it gets too far it is not only that person that you are affecting; you affect their families and all of the other relationships that this person has. People need to think about the way that their words are going to affect others, think before you send a message… these people who think that it is acceptable are actually cowards. Most would never dream of saying these things to someone face, but just because they are sat at the safety of a mobile or computer screen they think their words are not as relevant. It is beyond me why people would do this, I am honestly in shock… why? I keep asking this question over and over. What makes people think that they can do this? Why would people do this? What do they think that they will gain from causing someone to feel awful? Social media was not made for this. It was made to communicate positively with others; facebook to share life events, instagram to capture moments and the list goes on. Social media is powerful, and it can be used positively, to spread joy and inspiration.

What I would stress is that if you are a victim of bullying online (or any kind!), speak out. There will always be someone around you that can listen, even if you do not feel like there is. You matter! Your life is beautiful and it is valuable. You are going places, amazing places, places that you simply could not dream of right now. Although personally I have never experienced such an harrowing time I want to voice out that, although it is probably harder than I could ever imagine, you should never feel like you have to take your own life. These people deserve to be found out, so speak up. Tell someone you trust. You will not regret it! Because once you tell someone, you are going to feel a hundred times stronger, you are going to feel like you have the confidence to stand against this. Show these people that you are bigger than their horridness, stand proud with a smile on your face! What these people tell you is lies, they are trying to mess with your head, but be that beautiful person you are. You are NEVER alone!

Much love

Amelia-Jane ❤

Cat-Walk Your Positivity


Back again, it has been a while. Many apologies. Positivity. A word that is often easier to say than it is actually to be. Important? Well YES! Life can often be that draining that we throw positivity out the window, it is easy to do and I certainly do such a thing, often subconsciously. We often think just getting through life without positivity is fine, well yes and no. Yes because you conquered another day, legend, but no because what is life without being positive. I, personally, try to be positive most of the time and I like to think that comes through but let us be honest that does not always happen. It became clear of recent (thanks to a lovely friend) that I am not always positive with myself. I concentrate so much on being positive towards others and trying to get through life simultaneously, that I forget, well in a way, the most important thing… being self positive, if you will. The thought caught me off guard, like I seem like a positive person and I am, but I was missing myself out of this equation. I guess I never realised that I lacked in self belief, it kind of becomes a part of you. I did not do it intentionally by any stretch, I wish I knew why I did it. Surely the best way to get through life is to be positive, right?! Course it is… You will make it through life in a much smoother fashion. Darling, positivity is stylish… You see that new Chanel handbag? That new pair of football boots? Positivity, well, it is more stylish than them, trust me. You know when your head turns when you see that dude sporting those new Yeezys, yeye well heads turn when you sport that self-belief and positivity!

Personally, I have a very long way to go, longer than the 10k I am running next month, potentially longer than it would take to get to the moon and right back again, but each step counts in improving the way you view yourself, and that is positively. I guess I do not really have any tips on this subject because it is something I fall short on myself but what I will say is believe you can do it, believe people when they say you are amazing; they are not telling you that for the good of themselves, and finally believe that with a little faith and a tonne of self-belief you can conquer whatever is thrown at you- You have your racquet ready to whack it at full throttle back at the face of it. Life is more than just about “living” it is about cat-walking with sass and gratitude through the life you have been so beautifully given.

Tell yourself this (Please excuse me while I tell myself the same):

Dear me,

You can do anything.

You are an athlete; you can jump any life hurdle.

You are a model; you can walk with self-believing sass.

You are stylish; you can exhibit positivity.

Much love, Me xoxo

Lots of Love

Amelia-Jane ❤

That Cheesy Rollercoaster Saying 

Hmmm… it’s be a while, right?! It has. I have been super busy, the only time I have stopped is to sleep and then morning comes around again and another filled day is upon me! Probably the same for you, I would assume. 

So that saying, ‘Life is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs. But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride’, can often seem quite light hearted, a bit nonchalant shall we say. But… after hearing this saying ample times, and yes after reading it in my advent calendar this morning, I was awe struck by its meaning. To be honest with you I had never really thought about it until now, to me it was just another one of those cheesy tumblr sayings; in some ways it still is but there is far more behind it. 
To start with ‘Life is like a rollercoaster’, a very average sentence but it’s meaning is crucial. The noun rollercoaster is your typical fair ground attraction but the modifier noun defines it as ‘Something categorised by wild and unpredictable changes’. Life brings many wild and unpredictable changes and it can be often very difficult to keep track; greatly overwhelming in fact! I would need at least 10 hands to count how many times a new change impacted my life, from university to friendships to my daily routine, all these things throw a new spanner in the works. But the question is ‘how do you go about dealing with these changes?’ Do you let it beat you or do you conquer all fear that comes with it…
That leads us swiftly on to the next sentence in this saying, ‘It has it’s ups and downs’. I do not think anything has been more true. Life will have its ups and downs, highs and lows but through both those moments, when you are on top of the world or down in the darkest cave, believe that no matter what you are strong enough to get through. In that deep, dark cave, whether that is stress, anxiety, depression, heart-break, whatever it is, it may seem at that tipping point just when you think that you can not cope anymore,that you just can not do it. We all have those moments, hence the quote being so relevant, however you are not alone. But let me tell you, from personal experience, you can definitely do it, you can get through, do not give up! There is always someone cheering for you at the side lines; your friends and family. Whether your faith lies in yourself, God, that lucky pair of socks, whatever, you have to believe that you will find strength, potency and backbone in that thing. If those lows get on top of you, step back, look at the bigger picture, zoom out, look at everything else in your life, past and present… you see it is not so bad. When we are in those lows we tend to immediately focus in on that small thing and let it take over. It is insanely simple to do this, we all do, it is human nature. But think to yourself, what else do I have in my life, what is good, what you take for granted others envy, you are richer than you know. Will what is taking over your life, causing fear and worry, matter in 5 years, 10 years, 70 years?! I think I can safely say ‘no’ it probably will not. And while I am making this sound easy, I understand it is not, it is tough. But while you feel like the world is on your shoulders you are actually insanely blessed. And when a rollercoaster goes down it has to come up again, and I tell you now, it will! 
‘But it is your choice to scream or enjoy the ride’… now, most definitely, if I was on an actual rollercoaster right now I would be screaming… BUT in life when things turn disastrous do you try and get through it or do you turn to panic and anxiety. At first most of us, I am a big culprit, probably go for scream but on the way you know that you are safe, you have your seat belt on, and whether you believe that that is God or not it is important to remember that nothing is ever too broken or too bad. Like a child we often know very little, in fact often nothing, but we can learn to grow and we can strive for better. You only get to enjoy one life, and while things seem so important you have to remember that things often are not as in important as you think. Do what you love and get rid of what you do not. If it does not make you happy then find something else, because in this all we need to remember how important it is to ‘enjoy the ride’. 
Lots of love 

More Than Just Spots

Hello my lovely lot,

Yeh I hear you, a spot is a spot right?! Wrong! I have gone through a large proportion of my life experiencing different severities of acne, some much worse than others. Right now is one of those times. I know I have never had it as bad as some people, I am quite aware of that, but nevertheless is has been a horrible experience and often quite painful. Further to the pain, the actual amount of self-esteem lost could fill buckets, no word of a lie! Going out with no make up on is one big NO! I feel, as I am sure many others do, like I have to hide behind a thick layer of foundation just to feel good, or slightly better. I hate it, I would love nothing more to be able to walk out the house bare faced with not a care in the world, or about my skin at least. Now I know people are going to say well you can even with acne, but it is not that simple. It makes people feel so self conscious, it can often be quite embarrassing, it is definitely something I want to hide! It is more than just a bunch of spots it is everything that comes with it. It is not that we do not clean our faces, I wash mine twice a day, moisture, all that and none of it works. Applying make up is an absolute nightmare and it never blends well because of all the spots… I could go on for days! It is a horrible subject I know, and I am certainly not doing it for any sympathy but I am just trying to express how difficult I can be for people who suffer! The dream to have clear skin is high up on my list and I know that my confidence, and I am sure I can speak for others, will be much better. 

I just thought I would pluck up the courage to show you what it can be like, I know it is not terrible but it knocks my confidence a lot. 

I hope I can update you in the next couple of months on any progression, but for right now all I want to say to those who suffer with acne, you are beautiful and there are ways to deal with it! 

Much love 

Amelia-Jane 💗

You Are Never Going To Be Them

Now that title sounds a bit negative but quite on the contrary! Media and such like constantly falsely portray figures, they often make them seem perfect and from a young age we aspire to be them. Or closer to home, we often look at others, often knowing very little about them, and assume their life is beyond compare. Now I am no researcher or psychologist however I can comfortably say nine times out of ten their life has just as many ups and downs. We often hide from others our true issues with only a select few knowing our foibles and from the outside looking in it looks like we have our lives together. Lesson one is right there, it shows that judging others is a bigggg no no. We have not the slightest clue what others are going through! Give people the kindness you would wish to receive, it is easier and more fulfilling to be nice to people than rude! 

Back to the subject in matter, the more you know me the more you know I can go off topic at a great tangent… The point is, although it is okay to look at other people, whether that be a celebrity or someone else, and think that they are cool or inspirational it is important to not get hung up on the fact that they are perfect. No one is perfect and we all have our imperfections. Looking for the good in people is fine but as soon as it starts becoming detrimental to the way we feel about ourselves and the moment we start comparing our lives to others we have to take a massive step back and look at the pain that we are causing ourselves. Not one person is the same and although it may appear no one is perfect. Often the people we think are perfect are going through something that is extremely difficult or may hate something about themselves. I am a massive culprit of looking at other people and thinking they are perfect, thinking their life is better than mine, thinking they have got their life figured out and thinking they are prettier but when you actually find out more about them they often hate themselves as much as everyone hates themselves and have millions of issues. 
We are never going to be happy if we constantly compare ourselves to others and I know I have a long way to go before I will be able to stop doing this myself, it is human, it is instinct, it is what we do to ourselves but it is vital that we as individuals can be glad to be ourselves in order to achieve happiness and love for who we are. No matter what kind things people say to us we can not look past others and not compare. My friend the other day complimented my hair and although I was so amazingly grateful for what she said I still looked at her and thought how much nicer she looked than I did, it is almost subconscious, I can not help it! But we all must learn, the people we think are perfect dislike themselves and look at someone else and think they are perfect and so on; a vicious circle. Remember you are you and that is an amazing beautiful thing! 

Lots of love